Musings defined: ponderings, reflections, meditations, contemplations.
I aim to share experiences, past and present, with the goal of learning and appreciating what life presents.

Sunday, 8 May 2011

Mother's Day - a wonderful time to remember those with the most important job in the world!

This morning at the end of our sacrament meeting, Carroll received a rose with its cream colored petal tips edged in pink.  All mothers (and all other women) received a rose.  Why?  This is a simple recognition of the heavenly calling to give birth and/or raise children.  I look at motherhood from three perspectives.  One, the scriptures and heavenly calling of motherhood.  Two, I was trained as a family therapist and did much counselling during my career. Three, I also watched (and even helped) Carroll raise nine children including one adopted son, after burying a preemie.  From both first hand and second hand experience I declare that the role of the mother is the most difficult and the most rewarding.  Motherhood always involves sacrifice, love, teaching, work, listening, caring and both immediate and delayed rewards.  It sometimes involves frustration, sadness, and loss.  I am glad to report near the end of this Mother's Day, that all our children have reported in but one.  Today Carroll has been rewarded with the caring demonstrated by her children as they share their lives with her and tell her of their love. 

In my career I taught communication workshops and especially emphasized listening skills.  But it was Carroll that demonstrated the effective use of that skill, and she still does.  For example, Carroll is presently Primary president.  Hensie was recently called as Primary president in her ward.  Hensie enjoys many phone conversations with Carroll as Carroll first listens to issues and plans and then, and only then, does she respond with her own ideas.  People know that Carroll is listening because she really is as she does not feel compelled to promote or defend her own ideas.

What I remember about my own mother are the many times she sat on my bed and shared with me her dreams for me and issues she confronted in her own life.  She wanted me to become a doctor but instead I ended up with a social work degree with a skill to help family members talk with each other.  I believe those bedtime talks with my mother influenced me to appreciate confidential and personal talks and gravitate to a job that reproduced that kind of conversation.  One time at university another student had me take a test by drawing family.  I made the mother drawing the largest and protested that Mother was not the biggest person in my family.  In hindsight I can admit that my mother was the person having the most influence in my life.  She earned that by going the extra mile.  In my high school everyone had to take French.  French did not come easy to me and I hated the class.  One class assignment gave me the chance to bring my grade up by completing a scrapbook about France. I procrastinated putting all my materials together until the night before the book had to be handed in.  I was ready to go to bed but my mother helped me until very late.  And I got a better grade.  Talk is important but so is action.  My mother was number one right up until I married the most beautiful girl in the world.

My conclusion:  mothers deserve a special place in heaven.  We men should help mothers today, in the here and now, to recognize how special they are.  Look for ways to show kindness, understanding, support (that usually means work) and love.  Listen to them first before asking them to listen to you.  Help them to feel what it is like to be a queen.  None of us men will be able to maintain such a position all the time, but I can report from personal experience that when we persist in in acting on these values we are richly rewarded.  And now I need to get to bed so I can keep my promise of prayers together a nightly back massage for one week.

1 comment:

  1. I really like this post, Dad. I like learning about how your mother influenced your life in such a big way. And, of course, I like hearing about how great MY mom is, because she really is the best!